The Direction of Intention

365.
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Ana-the-wise and I chatted today about agreements. She said, “All relationships are built upon agreements – conscious or unconscious. Harmony in a relationship is available when the agreements are conscious.” When people in any form of relationship – couples, business relationships, friendships make and honor their agreements, as Ana says, “there is conscious accord.”

Joe once told me that the universe tends toward wholeness; we want to make something better and we want to make it together. In fact, we can’t make anything better alone because “better” for us humans is a relationship aspiration. We lean in to connection. We are a pack animal. Making agreements is an attempt to make things better between people: it is a commitment to clear communication.

I’ve come to understand that we are all watching a different movie; I star in my movie and you star in yours – and although there are 7 billion different movies playing on earth on any given day we make the assumption that there is only one movie and it happens to be the one we are starring in. Thus, the need for agreements and clear communication. We can’t assume that our movies are remotely the same – even if we attend the same event or grew up in the same house; anyone who’s compared notes with their siblings will know what I mean.

Of course, the real work begins with the agreements you make with yourself. The relationship you create with yourself is the epicenter of all the others. It’s tough to make meaningful agreements with other people when there is warfare raging in your mind. When power games are rampant on the inside they are bound to show up in all the relationships outside. Stop playing power-over games with yourself and you will stop playing them with others. Ana said it this way: “First you have to learn to manage the ego.” And then, power-with is possible.

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