The Direction of Intention

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It was a lazy autumn afternoon and we sat in a coffee shop for a few hours talking about art and life and travel. Our conversation was like a winding path that slowly went deeper and deeper into more personal and meaning-full territory. He asked a question, more to himself than to me, “If I value my family, why is it that I can never let myself just be with them? Why is it never enough to just be?”

A great question!

He was quiet for a moment as the question hung in the air between us, then he continued, “Why the judgment? Why the need to achieve all the time? I can never just be – and this need to achieve things every moment of every day is driven by this voice on judgment! There is no resting in the moment. Why can’t I feel contentment?”

His questions are ubiquitous; I hear people asking the same questions everywhere. Why can’t we feel contentment? Why the judgment?

Here are some questions to ask about these ever-present questions: What are you actually achieving? What are you actually judging? Do you know what you are trying to achieve or is it some abstract idea that is impossible to attain? What do you gain by giving away your life and relationships to something that is impossible to grasp, like sand running through your hands? What does doing enough look like? What does being enough feel like? Who in your life is the keeper of “enough?” Whose voice is in your head judging you? Why do you listen? Do you need to listen to the judgment?

As Viktor Frankel wrote, “Happiness ensues.” Contentment, like happiness is not something you attain, it follows. It is in the meaning your give to your day and your life not in what you achieve. Your life is like sand and it runs through your hands each and every day. What would it take for you to decide to be present and content in it?

Filed under: Perspective, Truly Powerful People |