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I continue to sift through old journals and notes and today between a filing cabinet and the wall I found a small black and red notebook – small enough to fit in a pocket. I like finding these little notebooks because my handwriting is atrocious; it is difficult to decipher when I have full sized paper and nearly impossible in small notebooks. The gift is in the decryption: if I can actually figure out what I wrote it is like having the thought all over again!
I opened the black and red to a page with diagrams and words in circles; notes from a conversation with Joe. This is what I deciphered: circled in the center of the page is the phrase, “Feeling is the arbiter of reality (definitely a Joe phrase – I am not nearly so elegant).” Running vertically up the right side of the page I wrote, “Is the reference inside of you or outside of you?” And then, at the bottom of the page, “The word as reference point versus feeling as the reference point.” Finally, beneath this phrase in impossible-to-read scribbles I wrote either “Two deadly wars” or “Two deadly ways” with an arrow pointing to, “Attachment to outcome” and “Response to circumstances.”
String it all together and this is what you have:
Feeling is the arbiter of reality. Is your reference point inside or outside (are you seeking someone else’s answer or your own, trusting someone else’s feelings/opinions or your own?)? Words are abstractions, feelings are direct: which do you reference or which takes precedence when you locate yourself within your experience? Attachment to outcome and response to circumstance (as your identifiers) are both externally referenced and “deadly” as they start internal “wars” or lead to chaotic “ways.”
Scribbles to make Newton vomit and Siddhartha smile!
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