The Direction of Intention

57.

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If I were a fish I’d be in a frying pan. That is how hard I bit the hook! I was included in a Facebook discussion with a group that is philosophical polar opposite of everything I believe. I am their nightmare participant so I can only imagine that someone added my name by mistake or perhaps I was the supposed to be the main course in a very ugly meal.

I generally do not engage in online discussions (I’m too busy and too scattered as it is) but on this day I saw a comment before I hit “delete” and stepped squarely into a moral dilemma. As my pal Horatio reflected, “Silence in the face of bigotry is a form of consent.” I saw the comment, my name was (somehow) associated with the group, I chose to step into the arena.

My dilemma was that I didn’t count to ten thousand before I responded (dare I say, “reacted”;-) and I jumped into this pool of extremism with a voice of extremism: I heard myself become the thing I detest.

Their extremism was a mirror of my extremism! That’s why the hook was so tasty!

I believe that all forms of fundamentalism or extremist belief are expressions of fear. Playing the Victim is the required role: extremism makes no sense unless you believe there is a wolf knocking on your door. Rigid doctrine is useful for providing absolute certainty: no thinking required (and that was my hook!). Absolute certainty feels good because the primary certainty provided is moral superiority. The other person, by default is less-than. All of those black and white answers relieve you from the bother of having to consider the validity of the other person’s point of view: they are less so you are more, they are evil because you are good.

And, what’s really going on is that there are things in the world that you don’t understand and you are not yet able to walk toward them. Everyone looks like a wolf until you remove the label. The need to be right, to be absolute is about control.

All of us have an inner extremist that usually comes out in some places and not in others (what hits your buttons? What makes you angry and reactive? What hooks are too tasty to ignore?). My first post was a self-righteous diatribe. I was absolutely invested in being right. And I saw my fear all the way to its root.

There is a sweet perfection to this story: it took a fundamentalist to expose my fundamentalism. In my subsequent posts I asked some questions along with making statements. I entered a dialogue with no need to blunt my point of view and, more importantly, no need to negate theirs. I put down my end of the rope.

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