The Direction of Intention

51.

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I call them filing days, those days when I have no energy and not a thought in my brain. The only safe thing to do is file stuff. On those days I stay away from power tools and only use butter knives.

Filing days are fertile ground for the gremlins to rise and shoot a quiver load of “should-arrows” into me. “I should be more productive,” “I shouldn’t feel this way,” etc. I remember the day it occurred to me that the gremlins were my creation; they were not installed by some alien scientist running thought experiments on me (I hope;-). I knew enough not to resist the gremlins, resistance only makes them bigger. The only other option I could see was to detach and watch the arrows fly. Here’s what I learned: I can receive the arrows, backstop them and suffer the gremlin pain and abuse or I can let the arrows pass through; no harm done. Both are choices.

Gremlins need a target if they are going to be effective. Gremlins go away when they don’t have a willing target. When I stopped accepting arrows the Gremlins had to return to home base and file a request for reassignment. I put their request on the top of the stack and told them I’d get to it the next time I had a filing day.

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