The Direction of Intention

29.

Join me in inspiring truly powerful people. Each day I will add a new thought, story or idea to support your quest and mine.

Truly powerful people develop an uncanny relationship with uncertainty. They embrace it. They step toward it. They expect it. They learn to surf uncertainty. Truly powerful people understand (and do not deny) that uncertainty is the most ordinary thing in the world. If you follow your curiosity, fall into your imagination, create a new story, do it “just to see what happens,”… then you are dancing with uncertainty. Learning, by definition, requires a step into the unknown.

Children know this. They have not yet confused safety with certainty.

Somewhere along the line we stumble into the muck of believing that we need to know. Having the right answer is safe, not having it is dangerous, revealing. Safety and certainty blend together and become the same thing.

When people feel uncertain (unsafe) they create certainty (safety). It is so uncomfortable to be uncertain that the usual first line of defense is to judge. Judgment creates the illusion of certainty. Put it to the test: The next time you find yourself judging yourself or others, push pause, suspend the judgment so you can peak beneath it; why are you placing this label on this experience?

“I’m an idiot,” “I’m not good enough,” and all of the other forms of self-diminishment give you a certainty, they provide a location. It is safer to be certain that you are not-good-enough than it is to be undefined. Try this: go to a cocktail party, meet new people and when they ask you, “What do you do,” respond, “At present, I’m talking with you.” Or, tell them that you do many things. Or tell them that you are a writer, a painter, a dancer, a musician, an archeologist…own the thing you hide in the closet. Tell them you are a dreamer, a creator of stories (it is the truth). Reframe their question and tell them what you love.

The mechanism works both ways: “They are idiots,” “They are ruining our neighborhood,” etc., also provides a certainty, a location: a sense of moral or intellectual superiority; safety comes in all forms. It is easier to assume that “you know” than stepping into the discomfort of “getting to know.” It is easier to denigrate the Muslims next door than it is to knock on their door and introduce yourself. Better still, invite “them” in to your home and let them get to know you.

How is your dance with uncertainty?

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