The Direction of Intention

26.

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Sometimes it is useful to take a walk into a stereotype. This one reads like a joke: Why don’t men like asking for directions when they are lost? Why is it easier for a guy to drive around and ‘figure it out’ rather than pull over and ask for directions? Punchline: He believes he is supposed to know. He has learned through years of well-intentioned schooling that not knowing is not safe – it is a big status drop. He’ll be held back one full grade level if he  doesn’t pass this version of the standardized test. He has been reinforced in the idea that life is a perpetual test, that someone has the answer (not him) and that he will be happy if only he can find it – or hide the discovery that he doesn’t know it. Experience has taught him that heaps-of-shame come to those that don’t know.

And, it’s not just men. This joke knows no gender. Take a peak beneath the stereotype and you will see the absolute necessity to control, the imperative for predictability. You will see the dulling of possibility, the blunting of human potential. When you consider that life’s real value is found, not in the knowing, but in the questioning, you recognize that the real juice is in the uncertainty (bliss, dream, passion, desire, yearning, imagination,…are words meant to take you off the path and into the dark woods).  All of this measurement! It is enough to make you weep.

The real loss in life-as-a-test, in having the right answer or-else (so: control the perceptions of those around you – don’t you dare let them see that you don’t really know…),  is that you buy into the idea that getting there efficiently (without incident) is more important than the quality of the journey.

The riches are in the incident. Too much emphasis on efficiency and knowing will scrub your life of meaning. Does it really matter if you ask for directions or drive around for a while not knowing where you are? Both open you to uncertainties.

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